First-Year Student Journals : Nicole : Journal 8

3 February 2003

It’s one of those days when you just want to lay around, you’re sad for no good reason and you miss your family, your faraway friends and your dog. I started thinking about all the departures and arrivals, and then my life began looking like a monitor of scheduled flights at an airport. Finally I realized that when you’re feeling sad, thinking about sad things is probably not such a good idea, so I stopped. But my point is...

I have come to accept the fact that it is difficult for people to remain in one place. The constant shuffle and hustle of today’s lifestyle makes it increasingly hard to settle down and build a life at a single location. So you would think that as the number of goodbyes escalates, the amount of sadness you feel as you say them would diminish.

But of course you would be wrong.

That would be way too predictable (plus that would also indicate that you stop caring the older you get and that’s a much scarier concept to consider). Instead it seems, every time someone picks up his or her things and leaves, you find yourself wondering if your entire life will be a series of hellos and goodbyes. You begin to ask yourself the purpose of investing time in relationships that will inevitably end, and when you begin one (which is also inevitable) you wait for the time when you are left alone with a big sack of leftovers, a big sack of emotions. You then think about how tough it is to carry that huge sack around, and try disconnecting yourself from everyone and everything (even your dog). And now comes the portion of the journal where I tell you that the happy moments you have in those relationships will make the baggage worthwhile...

Surprise again! I can’t tell you that, because, well, I’m not so sure I’m convinced myself.

But dare I say that those relationships, remnants and all, are what make this life bearable. With so many tragedies targeting our nation, it’s hard to have faith, hard to walk ahead towards our own future while acknowledging that many will be deprived of theirs. But everyday we walk on, and I wonder: Could we walk alone? Tragedy strikes everyday in this country and around the world, but it would be arrogant to pretend that we could survive the hurt if we didn’t have our friends and families to share it with.

It’s sad to think about the inescapable end, about the goodbye that comes hand in hand with the hello. But it’s much more sorrowful to think about a life without anyone with whom to share our joys as well as our afflictions. In this time of pain, we should relish the relationships we have today and not worry about the ones we won’t have tomorrow.



	Nicole \| Profile \| Reflections \| Journal 7 8 9 10 11 12 Fall 2002 \| Home
	3 February 2003 It’s one of those days when you just want to lay around, you’re sad for no good reason and you miss your family, your faraway friends and your dog. I started thinking about all the departures and arrivals, and then my life began looking like a monitor of scheduled flights at an airport. Finally I realized that when you’re feeling sad, thinking about sad things is probably not such a good idea, so I stopped. But my point is... I have come to accept the fact that it is difficult for people to remain in one place. The constant shuffle and hustle of today’s lifestyle makes it increasingly hard to settle down and build a life at a single location. So you would think that as the number of goodbyes escalates, the amount of sadness you feel as you say them would diminish. But of course you would be wrong. That would be way too predictable (plus that would also indicate that you stop caring the older you get and that’s a much scarier concept to consider). Instead it seems, every time someone picks up his or her things and leaves, you find yourself wondering if your entire life will be a series of hellos and goodbyes. You begin to ask yourself the purpose of investing time in relationships that will inevitably end, and when you begin one (which is also inevitable) you wait for the time when you are left alone with a big sack of leftovers, a big sack of emotions. You then think about how tough it is to carry that huge sack around, and try disconnecting yourself from everyone and everything (even your dog). And now comes the portion of the journal where I tell you that the happy moments you have in those relationships will make the baggage worthwhile... Surprise again! I can’t tell you that, because, well, I’m not so sure I’m convinced myself. But dare I say that those relationships, remnants and all, are what make this life bearable. With so many tragedies targeting our nation, it’s hard to have faith, hard to walk ahead towards our own future while acknowledging that many will be deprived of theirs. But everyday we walk on, and I wonder: Could we walk alone? Tragedy strikes everyday in this country and around the world, but it would be arrogant to pretend that we could survive the hurt if we didn’t have our friends and families to share it with. It’s sad to think about the inescapable end, about the goodbye that comes hand in hand with the hello. But it’s much more sorrowful to think about a life without anyone with whom to share our joys as well as our afflictions. In this time of pain, we should relish the relationships we have today and not worry about the ones we won’t have tomorrow.