29 April 2003
How have you changed?
A loaded question.
Have I changed? I tried to think back, tried
to remember the girl who sat surrounded by boxes in a van, praying
that they’d take her back home. A mix of excitement and fear
filled her as she unpacked box after box. She was incredibly unaware
of the life that would proceed. She was scared and overwhelmed.
Afraid that at any given moment something would give, and she wouldn’t
be able to cope with every emotion that was flowing through her.
And it was frightening and exhilarating. The idea that her life
was changing so drastically.
My first year here in Austin brought with
it more than I had ever expected.
This year has definitely been memorable. And
I can’t believe it’s over. I can’t believe in
a few weeks Austin will be hours away, and the life I have known
for the past nine months will become a collection of neatly archived
And I guess I’m sad. Sad because next
year won’t be the same. Because I’ll have to say goodbye
to people who have managed to add so much to my life in such a small
amount of time. Because I’ll never get to be a freshman in
I’m sad for the time that has passed,
but I’m excited for the times ahead.
I read the first journal I wrote not too long
after I got here. And I don’t know if I have changed. I do
know that I’ve learned more than could ever be recorded on
a college transcript. I know that I have learned how to appreciate
small things, hold on to important things and let go of the things
I cannot change. I know that I’ve learned how to love with
my entire heart, how to give second chances and how to be a good
friend. And I will take that away from this year.
So as you sit there reading this, know that
everything you think will happen, probably will. And then there
will be things that you can’t even begin to imagine.