First-Year Student Journals : Leila : Journal 1

Leila's clock that looks like a miniature drum set

Leila | Profile | Reflections | Journals: 1 2 3 4 5 6

The Deep Orange

They say we are the captains of our own ship. Well, frankly, I would rather be a mermaid, especially here at The University of Texas at Austin.

Dropped in the middle of this sea of faces, I have found that what is going on below the surface is of much more interest than the bird’s eye view of vacant plains of rolling waves. No, indeed, the deeper waters hold the riches. With just about four months of UT under my belt (three spent in summer school here) learning this lesson was my first obstacle to surmount.

You see, I arrived a sailor with stars in my eyes and dreams in my sail, ready to charter my course. So I boarded the ship and pulled away form the dock, but when I scrolled out my map, I jumped in horror. It was blank! I saw no islands, no finial destinations and no prescribed course.

I had obviously falsely assumed that along with my high school diploma and my college acceptance that I was promised a revelation concerning the meaning of my life. Seeing that I could not discern my direction from atop my vessel, I strapped on my oxygen tank, took a deep breath and plunged into the orange waters.

Exhale. I have arrived at the right place at the right time. My little eyes were filled with color and life, the bizarre and the mundane, everything; paradise for a little fish with a big appetite for exploration. That first day of class, and everyday thereafter, has sent my imagination overflowing. Strolling through the quad I am handed flyers and announcements printed on every color paper out there, each with information with times, explanations, elaborations and invocations to see my world from another angle. Any interest I have ever had I can pursue here (well, maybe not surfing, I’ll save that for another day).

Right. With this in mind, going about this process of discovering everything there is to know in the universe is another task completely. Well, as one of my favorite actors, Bill Murray, advises, “Baby steps!” Julie Andrews knows where to start, “at the very beginning.” And Ferris Bueller knows how to do it, with charisma and humor. Robert Frost and Charlie Parker know how to go about feeling it, with reflection and soul. These pioneers before me have plundered such deep waters and found great treasures. With these guiding stars (pun intended) I aim to find treasure, too.

This man, Edward Gorey, once said that “life is intrinsically, well, boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course, it almost never does; that’s what makes it so boring.”

He deduced that life was boring. Well, he was living on the surface. You see, as a little fish here at UT I learned rather quickly that life only becomes “dangerous” and “exciting” in the very deepest waters. You see, at the bottom of the ocean, the floor does indeed open up, sending out a stream of hot water. The hot water is like an interest or a goal, a purpose or a force that draws together a myriad of very different creatures. (Is it also no coincidence that the biggest well-spring of young minds congregate in the hot oven of Texas?)

Here at UT, finding these pockets of life is the key. The ocean is much too vast to tackle at a glance. One must begin with one miracle at a time.

I suppose having no map might seem daunting or scary. But thank God I am only a freshman. I have a little room to wriggle. And after 18 years of living, I have learned that miracles happen and direction seeks us out. On top of all that, we often meet those special people in our lives in the most unexpected places at the most unexpected times. That is why it is so important to always be ready and open to take the bait. (I suppose in this metaphor “taking the bait” is a good thing, but I don’t think too many fish would find that reference very amusing.)

My tale (tail) is coming to a close because this is all I know so far. I am not sure if I am way over my head, but that’s okay because mermaids can breathe under water.

I clutch to the golden words of J.R.R. Tolkien, “Not all who wander are lost.”

I have much exploring under the orange sea before I can take to the blue sky. More sagas to follow.



	Leila \| Profile \| Reflections \| Journals: 1 2 3 4 5 6 Home
	The Deep Orange They say we are the captains of our own ship. Well, frankly, I would rather be a mermaid, especially here at The University of Texas at Austin. Dropped in the middle of this sea of faces, I have found that what is going on below the surface is of much more interest than the bird’s eye view of vacant plains of rolling waves. No, indeed, the deeper waters hold the riches. With just about four months of UT under my belt (three spent in summer school here) learning this lesson was my first obstacle to surmount. You see, I arrived a sailor with stars in my eyes and dreams in my sail, ready to charter my course. So I boarded the ship and pulled away form the dock, but when I scrolled out my map, I jumped in horror. It was blank! I saw no islands, no finial destinations and no prescribed course. I had obviously falsely assumed that along with my high school diploma and my college acceptance that I was promised a revelation concerning the meaning of my life. Seeing that I could not discern my direction from atop my vessel, I strapped on my oxygen tank, took a deep breath and plunged into the orange waters. Exhale. I have arrived at the right place at the right time. My little eyes were filled with color and life, the bizarre and the mundane, everything; paradise for a little fish with a big appetite for exploration. That first day of class, and everyday thereafter, has sent my imagination overflowing. Strolling through the quad I am handed flyers and announcements printed on every color paper out there, each with information with times, explanations, elaborations and invocations to see my world from another angle. Any interest I have ever had I can pursue here (well, maybe not surfing, I’ll save that for another day). Right. With this in mind, going about this process of discovering everything there is to know in the universe is another task completely. Well, as one of my favorite actors, Bill Murray, advises, “Baby steps!” Julie Andrews knows where to start, “at the very beginning.” And Ferris Bueller knows how to do it, with charisma and humor. Robert Frost and Charlie Parker know how to go about feeling it, with reflection and soul. These pioneers before me have plundered such deep waters and found great treasures. With these guiding stars (pun intended) I aim to find treasure, too. This man, Edward Gorey, once said that “life is intrinsically, well, boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course, it almost never does; that’s what makes it so boring.” He deduced that life was boring. Well, he was living on the surface. You see, as a little fish here at UT I learned rather quickly that life only becomes “dangerous” and “exciting” in the very deepest waters. You see, at the bottom of the ocean, the floor does indeed open up, sending out a stream of hot water. The hot water is like an interest or a goal, a purpose or a force that draws together a myriad of very different creatures. (Is it also no coincidence that the biggest well-spring of young minds congregate in the hot oven of Texas?) Here at UT, finding these pockets of life is the key. The ocean is much too vast to tackle at a glance. One must begin with one miracle at a time. I suppose having no map might seem daunting or scary. But thank God I am only a freshman. I have a little room to wriggle. And after 18 years of living, I have learned that miracles happen and direction seeks us out. On top of all that, we often meet those special people in our lives in the most unexpected places at the most unexpected times. That is why it is so important to always be ready and open to take the bait. (I suppose in this metaphor “taking the bait” is a good thing, but I don’t think too many fish would find that reference very amusing.) My tale (tail) is coming to a close because this is all I know so far. I am not sure if I am way over my head, but that’s okay because mermaids can breathe under water. I clutch to the golden words of J.R.R. Tolkien, “Not all who wander are lost.” I have much exploring under the orange sea before I can take to the blue sky. More sagas to follow.