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Small handwriting sample of C.J.'s First-Year Student Journals, link to journals home page
Traci




Traci's favorite camera lamp




mural detail

23 January 2006

This is the year 2006. This is a new year. This is a new chance. This is a new semester. Oh, I have so much to change.

First things first. It’s good to be back. No, it’s better than good. It’s great. I missed the faces I’d see everyday. I missed the walks I would take everyday. I missed my bed I’d sleep in every night. (I happen to think it’s very comfortable, thank you.) I missed having my room to myself. Well, almost to myself. I have a roommate who lives and breathes about six feet away. But still, I missed my room. I missed seeing the Capitol, even though I’ve only been inside of it once on a field trip in fourth grade. There’s a second time for everything. I just missed this. Everything about this.

I know I’ve only been back a week, but I have already made some conscious decisions. I’ve decided that this semester will be different. These seven days have already been promising. It’s been seven days of a made bed. It’s been seven days of healthy eating. It’s been seven (OK, four) days of working out. It’s been seven (OK, two) days of trying to find a job. It’s been seven days of keeping up with the assigned class readings. It’s been seven days of an acceptably clean room. It’s been seven (OK, six) days without a nap. It’s been seven (OK, six) days of a normal bedtime. It’s been seven days of having an adequate amount of money in my back account. It’s been seven days of completely enjoying my classes. It’s been seven days of a moderately empty laundry basket. Trust me, this, yes this, is progress.

There are still a couple of tasks that have yet to happen. I really do want to get involved on this campus. I know there are countless opportunities. It’s the beginning of the semester, so it’s hard to miss the bi-annual tables set up around the university advertising for the next best club, but I can’t help but feel as if it’s all a bit contrived. Clubs are supposed to make you have a sense of belonging in a school with a larger population than most small cities. But it doesn’t feel personal when flyers are being passed to you right and left. I see more scattered on the ground than in people’s hands.

Maybe I’m being a little too bitter. I definitely don’t speak for everyone, of course. I mean, it is a good concept, trying to get people to find an organization where they fit in, but I guess I’ve yet to be handed the one flyer I need. But I’m sure it’s somewhere being Xeroxed right now as we speak/read/write.

I definitely want to do more with film and television and editing. I helped out on a comedy show for the campus TV station (KVR-TV) a bit last semester, but I still want to do more. I want this added responsibility. I want to know that I did not sit back and let these months pass without an effort.

That’s kind of where my quest for a job comes in. I want to be able to juggle this and a 15-hour course load. I want to multitask with more than talking on AOL Instant Messenger and on the phone while listening to music. I want to have a definite purpose this semester. I want these last seven days to be the precedent for the next 100-something. I want to know that I am making something of everything here. I want to be proud.

ohhrockon@yahoo.com

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