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Traci




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Reflections

26 September 2005

I dedicate this entry to none other than Chuck Palahniuk and his kickin’ quotes from the book, “Choke.” I may choose a different book next time, or I may do something completely unrelated or random. Who knows? Feel free to choose one to define your life. I’m sure he won’t mind. These are random. No particular connection to me, currently. They’re just quotes worth mentioning. He just has a way with words. As a disclaimer though, some of his quotes are not what we’d call “optimistic.” Actually most of them are quite the contrary, but that is what makes them classic. He doesn’t try to defend humanity. He doesn’t sugarcoat life, and in the meantime, he makes some pretty profound statements.

  • Art never comes from happiness.
  • So if you think this is going to save you…if you think anything is going to save you…please consider this your final warning.
  • I feel my heart ache, but I’ve forgotten what that feeling means.
  • It’s all so easy. It’s not about looking good, at least not on the surface—but you still win. Just let yourself be broken and humiliated. Just your whole life, keep telling people, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
  • There’s an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It’s when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger. Nothing is ever familiar.
  • More and more, it feels like I’m doing a really bad impersonation of myself.
  • Sometimes, it’s like I want to be beaten and punished. It’s OK if there isn’t a God anymore, but I still want to respect something. I don’t want to be the center of my own universe.
  • It’s pathetic how we can’t live with the things we can’t understand. How if we can’t explain something we’ll just deny it.
  • We’ve taken the world apart but we have no idea what to do with the pieces.
  • Sometimes a euphemism is more true than what it’s supposed to hide.
  • My goal is not to uncomplicate my life. My goal is to uncomplicate myself.
  • We live and we die and anything else is just delusion.
  • Without access to true chaos, we’ll never have true peace.
  • The only frontier you have left is the world of intangibles. Everything else is sewn up too tight.
  • This is how I am. An addict. I mean, who’s counting?
  • In a way, being an addict is very proactive. A good addiction takes the guesswork out of death. There is such thing as planning your getaway.
  • I wish I had the courage not to fight and doubt everything. I wish, just once, I could say, ‘This. This is good enough. Just because I choose it.’
  • What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.
  • There’s no way you can get the past right. You can pretend. You can delude yourself, but you can’t re-create what’s over.

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