Yesterday, I did something so perverse I still can’t think of a way to properly break it to my family when I call them tomorrow afternoon. I was raised in very certain way, to appreciate certain things, and adhere to certain behaviors. There is a characteristic that is so fundamental to the Bravo family that, by undermining it, I should look into expediting the process of changing my last name. After all, after what I’ve done am I still a Bravo?
I dropped cable tv and now only have the basic channels.
My nephew will be incredulous. If I tell my little brother, I’ll probably upset his end-of-semester exams. I won’t be able to fill my dad in since he’ll no doubt be watching premium cable when I call home tomorrow. Television-watching is a cornerstone activity in my family. To the extent that my older brother and I have invented a game that only Bravos may be able to play. We name two film actors and link them through co-stars. For example, I can begin linking Meryl Streep and Matthew McConaughey starting with “Death Becomes Her” when Streep acted alongside Goldie Hawn. The next step is to think of a Hawn movie and a co-star that will lead me towards McConaughey. This game favors low-brow films. Therefore the more ridiculous and far-fetched the pairing the better since the object of the game is to see how long the chain of links becomes. We’ve spent hours playing this game, which helps pass time as you’re road-tripping through Chile. And though others try to play, no one has seen as many terrible films on cable as we have. Often we don’t even know the name of the actor; but after a description and a few lines of dialogue, we’re able to mutually understand the link.
I’ll be the first to admit that I revel in watching tv. I’ll watch anything at least three times and have a high tolerance for bad tv; ironically, anything on Bravo! But a few weeks ago I reached my saturation level. Despite the plethora of channels, tv programming is pretty bad these days. I don’t have premium cable, so there’s no film channels to buffer the dross.
I’m not abandoning my tv. I don’t think I could ever do that. Instead I’m exploring my options. Apple TV, coupled with my Netflix subscription, may make the most ideal union for someone like me. Though I don’t think the rest of the Bravos will follow suit in the immediate future.