Paris Hilton Personally Scares Employers
AUSTIN, TX - Despite existing for thousands of years, there is frustratingly little known about employers, and recent studies conducted by scientists have only resulted in layoffs and firings. The topic alone likely brings forth a deluge of questions such as, "Will an employer prefer Arial or Helvetica?" or perhaps, "Sports coat and tie or just a polo?"
In face of such mysteries, we know the following facts about these enigmas of management:
- Employers typically dress better than you do.
- Employers anger when sprinkled with water.
- Employers are beginning to use social networking sites to screen job candidates.
The first two are widely understood, but what does the third fact mean for today's job-seeking college student?
The answer is uncertain due to a deficient understanding of the employer's Rubik's Cube logic, so CSAM's Grady Orange had a local employer browse his Facebook profile and identify content considered a strike against potential job candidates.
"Generally, images of intoxication, drug use, and other inappropriate acts are seen as a lack of good judgment on the job candidate's behalf," the employer, who wished to remain anonymous, enlightened in reference to questionable images found in Orange's profile.
When asked if he would consider Grady Orange for a position: "Um, isn't he a puppet or some sort of diseased raccoon or something? Personally, it scares me that all of his favorite quotes are from Paris Hilton. And there are 12 of them!
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