Lift Every Voice - Oral Histories - Audra Sneed

AS: Actually, she works, I think she still works here. I forgot her name, it started with an ‘M’. And, I learned so much intellectually from her. We read the story Beloved by Toni Morrison and that book really messed me up.

JH: How so?

AS: It messed me up because when you read certain things you know in your mind what’s going on but you try to block it out like it’s really not going on.

JH: Tell me more about that. Because I think I can relate, I mean, about that kind of experience with a book.

AS: It was a point where it was talking about how this slave master had a man on his knees and making him do certain things. In my mind I knew what was happening to him and I didn’t want to accept it. And it was hurtful to know what some of my ancestors went through in slavery. So, it was hurtful.

JH: How did the teacher, the professor deal with bringing up or talking about things like that?

AS: I think she kind of forced you to face your fear. I mean it’s no secret that slavery was really a bad thing. And when you dig deeper and know what some of the slaves actually went through you really don’t want to hear because it’s too painful but you know you have to hear it in order to make peace with it. And so she kind of forced me to do that.

JH: How did the other students in the class feel about it?

AS: I think they were sympathetic but not empathetic.

JH: What do you mean? What’s that difference, what’s the difference?

AS: Sympathy is, “Oh yeah, I’m sorry.” Empathetic is really understanding, to be in that person’s position.

JH: Did you take any more classes with that professor?

AS: No, but I remained close to her. She was a good teacher.

JH: So what else happened that semester? That was the famous 3.2 semester?

AS: Yeah, I took a lot of trips during that semester also. I took a trip to a prison and that changed my life. Did you know that 41 percent of the 11.5 percent African Americans in this state are incarcerated?

JH: I didn’t.

AS: It’s devastating. And it was weird because we went to the prison in Navasota. It was a minimum security, of course, and I was the only one who needed an escort. I had to have two security guards with me at all times.

JH: Who went to the prison?

AS: A class, my sociology class. I was the only Black in the class and I had to have two security guards with me at all times.

JH: Why?

AS: Because 41 percent of the 11.5 percent of African Americans in this state are in prison.

JH: So walking around with the class it was you and the class and two security guards that were watching you?

AS: Mmm, hmmm. Because the majority, probably 85 percent of that jail was African American men who probably hadn’t seen a woman in a long time.

JH: And they, and the idea was they would have responded to you differently because you were a Black woman?

AS: Mmm, hmmm.

JH: But they didn’t think this would happen with the White women in the class?

AS: No. It was, and one of my friends still talks about it. We walked on the basketball court and it stopped. It was complete silence as I walked by. I was like, “Oh my God!”

JH: How did you feel?

AS: I felt embarrassed. Well, I felt scared. I don’t want to say embarrassed. I felt hurt. And I went home and I called my mom and I said, “Now I understand where all the Black men are. They’re in prison.”

JH: Why did you feel hurt?

AS: Because that’s part of me, that’s part of the Black family. I mean there are so many Black women who don’t have a man there, you know. So, that’s hurtful to our community and our family and our reproduction of a species.

JH: How did the, how did the rest of the class and the professor react to all that?

AS: You know, they were kind of like, “Are you ok? I know you kind of felt singled out.” And I’m like: “Well, this is just the life that I’ve been blessed with.” But I was okay. I mean some of them were yelling out different stuff, but I understood.

Disclaimer:
“Oral Narrative as History.” Students received class credit for this work, and were under the supervision of Dr. Martha Norkunas, director of “The Project in Interpreting the Texas Past.”

Every effort has been made to transcribe the audio recordings exactly. On occasion a word, or phrase, was difficult to hear and this is indicated by a question mark in brackets.

Interviewee:
Audra Sneed

Interviewer:
Johanna Hartelius

Date of Interview:
February 22, March 3, April 3, 2006

Place:
University of Texas, College of Engineering, Austin, Texas

Recording Format:
Digital video and micro cassette audio